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      Greatest Books
        Bad Sex in Fiction
    (As of: 03-Dec-2003)

    Awarded annually by The Literary Review, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award is given to the most "crude, tasteless and often perfunctory" sex scene in a fictional novel. The award, in good humor, was started in 1993 by Auberon Waugh, then editor of The Literary Review. Waugh died in January 2001 but his legacy continues.

    Source: The Literary Review

       
      Year   Book
      2003
    Bunker 13
    by Aniruddha Bahal

    "Your palms are holding her neck and thumbs are at her ears regulating the speed of her head as she swallows and then sucks up your machinery.

    She is topping up your engine oil for the cross-country coming up. Your RPM is hitting a new high. To wait any longer would be to lose prime time...

    She picks up a Bugatti’s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen’s steady trot. Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she’s eating up the road with all cylinders blazing. You lift her out. You want to try different kinds of fusion."

     
      2002 Tread Softly
    by Wendy Perriam

    "She lay back on the bed while he positioned himself above her, then she slid her feet up his chest and on to his shoulders -- Mr Hughes's shoulders. She closed her eyes, saw his dark-as-treacle-toffee eyes gazing down at her. Weirdly, he was clad in pin-stripes at the same time as being naked. Pin-stripes were erotic, the uniform of fathers, two-dimensional fathers. Even Mr Hughes's penis had a seductive pin-striped foreskin. Enticingly rough yet soft inside her. The jargon he'd used at the consultation had become bewitching love-talk: '...dislocation of the second MTPJ...titanium hemi-implant...'"
     
      2001
    Rescue Me
    by Christopher Hart

    "Her hand is moving away from my knee and heading north. Heading unnervingly and with a steely will towards the pole. And, like Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Pamela will not easily be discouraged. I try twitching, and then shaking my leg, but to no avail. At last, disastrously, I try squeezing her hand painfully between my bony thighs, but this only serves to inflame her ardour the more. Ever northward moves her hand, while she smiles languorously at my right ear. And when she reaches the north pole, I think in wonder and terror, 'Oh, she will surely want to pitch her tent'."
     
      1998 Charlotte Gray
    by Sebastian Faulks

    "Meanwhile her ears were filled with the sound of a soft but frantic gasping and it was some time before she identified it as her own. ... 'This is so wonderful I feel I might disintegrate, I might break into a million fragments.'"
     
      1997
    The Matter of the Heart
    by Nicholas Royle

    "Yasmin grinned and writhed on the bed, arching her back, making a noise somewhere between a beached seal and a police siren."
     
      1996
    The Big Kiss: An Arcade Mystery
    by David Huggins

    "'Stick it in,' she whispered. I moved up the bed and pushed inside her. Liz squeaked like wet rubber. She grabbed my love-handles and ground her hips up against me, her eyes black saucers staring into mine as she hooked a yoga-leg onto my shoulder. We went through a medley of our favourite positions."
     
      1995 The Grid
    by Philip Kerr

    "His tremulous thumbs gathered the elastic waist of her panties and plucked them down over the twin gold domes of her behind and back up over the suspended sentences and Sobraine filter-tips of her stocking tops... Detaching mind from over-eager gnomon and its exquisitely appointed, shadowy task, he began to make love to her. When they had finished they lay under the sheet and watched TV."
     
      1994 Stonebreakers, Set
    by Philip Hook, Steven Crossley

    "Their jaws ground in feverish mutual mastication. Saliva and sweat. Sweat and saliva. There was a purposeful shedding of clothing."
     
      1993 A Time to Dance
    by Melvyn Bragg


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